Little mans big entrance into the world – Jai’s birth story

Hiya! Hopefully you’ve read my previous post all about my pregnancy with Jai and you are ready to hear all about his entrance into the world! I apologise again for my memory being a tad rusty, this was nearly 5 years ago now! This is why it’s so important for me to write this all down now before I forget way too much!

My original due date was the 18th September 2014, however, due to three episodes of reduced fetal movements, the doctors at Queen Charlottes decided the best and safest option would be an induction.

When I was first told that I was being induced I was scared! It finally hits you that very shortly your body will be going through quite possibly the most painful experience of your life! That shits scary! You also start to doubt everything. Your preparations. Your parental ability. Everything.

It all began in Triage (the ward that you go to with any issues later on in pregnancy.) One of the Midwives who had been monitoring baby had contacted the Labour ward and explained the need for me to be induced. It was definitely a shock but I also felt overwhelming excitement that we would finally be meeting our little man.

I called Samir in a panic and urged him to get my hospital bag ready (I hadn’t even finished packing as I wasn’t even 37 weeks yet!) and I called my mum, sister and friends to get ready for his arrival!!

However, the induction process was long. Very long. After a scan by a doctor who decided to start the induction process, I was taken up to the ante- natal ward. Everything was conducted very slow time, firstly due to resources of the NHS and secondly due to them wanting me to ideally reach 37 weeks, which I was a few days off.

The first step of the induction was the pessary. I never actually saw it myself but I guess it is like a little tablet which is inserted inside of you. Now this is no exaggeration… this was at that time the most painful experience of my life. I remember it being around 8pm but as it was summer it was light out and the ward was bright so all of the other women were awake and chatting etc. I couldn’t stop screaming. She was a large woman and very rough!! I literally nearly couldn’t even let her finish putting it in but even though she eventually did, I doubt it was as far back as it should have been.

Guess what happened next. Nothing. So 24 hours later, after lots of walking around, up and down stairs and bouncing on a maternity ball, the next pessary went in. I was so scared to have it done again I asked for pain relief and was given gas and air. This was the first time that I had some since being on Magaluf strip in 2013! I actually love gas and air. It helped me so much with coping with the pain, and although it was still very painful, I was out of it just enough that it didn’t bother me quite so much. Why wasn’t I offered this the first time round?!

Again, not much happened. During this time, midwives came and went, obs were regularly conducted but it was clear that there were severely understaffed. Whenever you needed something it would take a few hours for the request to be fulfilled.

The next day, I think my cervix had dilated ever so slightly but they were growing concerned so wanted to hurry along the process. I was then taken up to Labour ward where I met the first two midwives that would look after me on the ward. The first Midwife was a Spanish lady and the student midwife alongside her was called Amy. This is the only name that I remember as it’s the same as mine! They were both lovely, caring and gentle. The settled us nicely into the room and made sure I was comfortable. We had a lovely view of wormwood scrubs from our window haha!

The first thing I remember them doing was putting me back on the monitor (I was to be monitored throughout the Labour due to their concerns) and I was told no food or drinks except water. What?! We as expectant mums are told to bring lots of snacks and energy drinks along but nope, not me. I was high risk and could be taken off for a c- section at any time!

Some time shortly after, they broke my waters. Now this experience definitely trumped the pain levels of the pessary insertion. Firstly, Amy tried but hardly any waters appeared, and then the Spanish experienced midwife took over and some more did. I was told that my waters had gone and the contractions should commence shortly!

And they did, but not to the level I was expecting. They were just uncomfortable, not really that painful. I had been told that with the induction the pain is actually stronger and faster than a normal Labour, so I was expecting intensified contractions.

I had the induction drip put into my wrist which would pump the medication into my body, tricking it into thinking I was in Labour. This left me constrained to the bed as you can’t walk around with it – and I was fitted with a catheter for that reason. Ew.

The contractions just weren’t coming on that well and I think they were growing concerned of baby’s heartbeat which was going very fast and then dipping.

Doctors and consultants were called in and they stated that the waters hadn’t been popped properly and they were to do it. I have strong memories of this. Me laying on the bed. A doctor and consultants at the end of the bed, one of them with their arm in me. And then about 4 midwives around the bed. Samir and my mum were holding my hands and I was inhaling hard and fast on the gas and air. I must of looked out of it, but I remember looking at Samir and him having a real look of fear in his eyes which I had never seen before. He genuinely looked so concerned and worried which looking back was the sweetest thing. My mum also had tears in her eyes at one point and she told Samir “she’ll be okay. But this is really painful what she’s going through.”

And it was. Someone’s whole forearm going inside of you is bound to hurt, right?

Then all of a sudden my waters were popped, properly this time! Almost immediately after I was offered the epidural, and probably within 2 minutes the anesthetist was in the room and was signing consent forms. Whilst they were preparing for it, the contractions had hit me, hard! I was not prepared for that kind of pain, and the epidural was swiftly put in my back. Honestly, the needle was absolutely fine. The pain of it was probably about 1% of the pain of the contractions.

Within two minutes of the epidural being put in, all pain had gone. It was great. It meant the next few hours I could really relax, even sleep if I wanted to (but I was way too excited for that!)

Then the midwife Change over came, and the next lady we has was a lot older than the first, probably in her 50s and she had a strong African accent. She got along well with my mum and she was really encouraging. She was advising me to implement some more old fashioned techniques, and was doing all she could to help me get this baby out!

Time passed and still no sign of baby Jai Jai. Every now and then she would increase my epidural to ensure the pain relief continued to administer. A midwife was with me at all times from when I to Labour ward up until I delivered due to being high risk.

I think around this time we told my mum to go home and that we would call her closer to the time of delivery. My mum has seen all of her grandchildren born and certainly didn’t want to miss this one.

The next midwife was another older lady probably in her late 40s. She was lovely like the others before her. A few hours after she took over, she was off on her lunch break (I say lunch but it was about 1am!) and another midwife took over. Just before the midwife went on the break she examined me and I was 6cm. The covering midwife wasn’t really that interested and just sat in the room.

All of a sudden I realised I was feeling pains, but just put it down to becoming more dilated. The started to become more and more painful, so I let the midwife know and she pressed the button to pump more of the epidural. But it was getting worse and worse to the point I felt like I needed to go to the toilet, aka the babies head was ready to pop out. I was literally shouting now but she told me I’m only 6cm. I begged her to check again and I think at this point she could see the pain I was in and ran and grabbed a doctor.

The doctor checked me and I was 10cm!!! She also checked my epidural and it turns out it had fallen out of my back!!! Probably at around 6cm. I asked if I could have it put back in, but nope it was too late and time to push. I begged for the gas and air, but nope, apparently that will make me lose concentration and not push as hard. Fuck! I’ve got to go through the hardest bit with no pain relief at all!

The pushing stage was awful. I just can’t describe the pain. Unbearable. So unbearable that I asked Samir and the doctors to kill me and take the baby out, and I was being deadly serious. The monitor that had been around my belly was also ripped of by me, I just couldn’t take the pressure of it around my tummy whilst I was in so much pain. They clipped a little monitor on baby’s head so they could still keep an eye.

I also literally ripped off all of my clothes and was completely naked. I was boiling hot and just in agony so yep, every inch of dignity went out of the window.

In the chaos, I had completely forgot to call my mum, so did Samir, it was one of the midwives that reminded us. So Samir got on the phone at about 4.20am and told her to get her quick! My mum, the most careful driver in the world, made it to the hospital in about 10 minutes when it should have been at least a 20 minute drive, even in the middle of the night.

She got there just in time and did everything that I would have wanted her to do. Cold flannel on my head, reassurance and instructing Samir on exactly what he needs to do haha.

I was also swearing like crazy to the point where the little Filipino midwife who was clearly so offended pulled my mum to the side and asked her to get me to stop. Excuse me? I’m pushing a human out of my vagina. If I want to say fuck a few times I will. I was so shocked by this. Surely other women swear in Labour, right? Let me know I’m not alone…

I have to say though, Samir was absolutely brilliant throughout. At the hardest point of delivery, he was holding my legs in the air and cheering me on. He was the perfect birthing partner.

All the way through the Labour we listened to kiss fm on the hospital tv. At the time of delivery Kisstory was on and playing some house music!

I was really struggling and had been threatened with a c-section or forceps as they stated he was becoming distressed. The doctor looked me in the eyes and said that my baby was at risk. In that moment everything changed. I pushed with all my strength. I forgot about every ounce of pain, and very shortly after baby Jai Jai entered this world. 4.54am on Wednesday 3rd September 2014 our 6lb 5oz little boy was born and my god was he perfect.

The next bit you expect is that euphoric baby on chest, look into his eyes and feel relief. I didn’t have that. When he was placed on my chest I was still in absolutely agony. I expected the pain to just disappear after he was born but it didn’t. I held him for about 15 seconds and then I told Samir to take him and that I couldn’t enjoy him until I was out of pain.

I was then told about the placenta. Oh fuck. I had forgotten about that. That’s another thing that you are told about but in my case, it was just horrendous and I was completely unprepared. I basically birthed another baby, that’s how bad that was. Just absolutely horrible.

Then came the stitches. I had a tear so I was told that needed to be stitched up. Again, still in so much pain and absolutely exhausted (and famished, hadn’t eaten in about 16 hours!) I asked the midwife if she couldn’t come back later to do the stitches. Lol. Looking back on it I know how ridiculous that sounds but I just physically couldn’t take anymore. The general anesthetic jabbed into the vagina prior to the stitches was horrible! The stitches weren’t too bad.

But I didn’t poo. Every cloud has its silver lining.